Twenty-Four: Skinned Knees and Bruises

Six months. Wow. I know that we still have a ways to go, but I feel significant achievement in reaching six months nonetheless. This week has been simple. I really don't have much to say. I can't stop thinking about Sandy Hook Elementary. My thoughts have been consumed by images of children crying and being scared and parents not knowing what to do with Christmas presents for the child they lost and I just can't stop thinking about it. A quiet sorrow has been hovering over me this week, and sinking its claws into my mind. When Dan died, I was absolutely traumatized. I would close my eyes and just see his lifeless face, so I couldn't sleep and I couldn't close my eyes. And I couldn't understand how it happened, and I can't understand what happened to these children. I can't understand how there could be a deeper grief and pain than what I felt when Dan died, but these were children, and their parents are feeling a deeper grief and pain, and I can't understand how they can still live through this. How can they do this? How can they wake up in the morning, how can they sleep. I just have to know that God is with them. I have to know that. I wonder if those children who died are watching their parents mourn and grieve, and I hope not. I hope that they don't have to see that. And I know that God is taking care of it, but it's so hard to know that. 

I know that this is all repetitive from my last post, but I just want to know that children can be children. I want to know that when our daughter is a child, her only worry will be why the mean kid in class called her a "shrimp" and the toughest thing that we'll have to explain to her will be her pet hermit crab dying.

Children should be able to be children. I will never forget about Sandy Hook Elementary. Our daughter will know that we love her every day. 

"I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have."- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

It's a gloomy day and I just wish it would rain.

Twenty-Three: No Title Would Suffice

So, in a strange turn of events, I have regressed into a toddler.

I have at several moments in the past week convinced myself that I could solely eat sliced apples, cheddar cheese, and milk for the remaining months of my pregnancy. Oddly, I have been craving these pre-school snack time meals all week.

Even more bizarre, I have managed to be a responsible adult and conquer all  of the much dreaded bullet points on my to-do list this week. There were seven. Seven things I had to do, and believe me, doing all seven was a huge life accomplishment for me. Like, I felt like Neil Armstrong ("That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind"). I kind of don't do things usually.

Then Friday. I spent much of Friday morning and noon listening to live news about Sandy Hook Elementary School. I really can't say much else other than I just simply can't imagine. I can't imagine. I remember that while getting myself dressed and what not, I stood at the mirror brushing my hair and thought- None of those children will ever brush their hair again, and none of their parents will be able to brush their hair for them again. And it was so real. And it wasn't just the news  or some place I've never been, but it was real, and for a small moment, I understood. But that was all, just that moment, and then it became the news again. And I am thankful for that moment. And I know that this all might sound strange or not make much sense, but I remember a moment like that before and it was when my friend Dan died.

Later that night I got a call from my mom and she said my Grandma was in the hospital. My Grandma is my best friend, she just is. I hadn't talked to her much this week and it had been on my mind. I had called her Thursday night and she didn't answer and I didn't feel okay about it. So when my mom called, it made sense. My Grandma is stable now, but I just thought the whole time- from when my mom called, during the ride to Maryland, during the time in the hospital, and the ride home to Virginia- I just thought that I couldn't imagine having our baby born in a world that didn't have my Grandma in it. I just couldn't imagine it. And I felt so broken-hearted. I felt so sad for the parents and families of those who died in Newtown and how they would have to somehow continue to live in this world. And I thought how at some point those moms felt those children in their belly kicking and moving around and wondering what they would look like and who they would become. I thought how the gunman's mom felt that too. Then I just didn't want to think about it anymore.

I don't really know why I'm saying this, but I just hope that we can all try not to take things for granted. We do it every day, but I hope that we all can try not to too often. And I hope that when we have moments, like the one I had while brushing my hair, we can remember them. Because that's sort of what makes our time on this earth important- when we really understand something, even if only for a second- because usually we just are sort of fumbling through, doing things that we don't even think about, and then its tomorrow, and we can't really remember yesterday.

I know that I won't always remember everything that our baby says and does and every moment we laugh about her or cry about her, but I hope that even when she's just brushing her hair, I will know that that's important.

One of the twenty sweet children whose lives were ended so early

Twenty-Two: Hippo + campus

Two weeks ago, at our last appointment, our midwife asked the group if any of us had or were experiencing pregnancy brain. I was like "Psh, whateva"

So you are probably wondering what pregnancy brain is. I'll explain.

In the past week:
a) I have broken two glasses..
b) and almost a third glass full of chocolate milk, which spilt in its entirety (tragic)
c) Completely missed my mouth while drinking a bottle of water during class
c) Spent twenty minutes walking around with an inadvertent toilet paper tail, approximately 1 foot in length, hanging from the back of my pants until I noticed it while looking at nail polish in Walmart and shamefully hid it in the shelf

That's what pregnancy brain is. Its being clumsy, forgetful, and basically an idiot.

Also, we talked about having weird dreams. Some of the other women spoke about having dreams that their husbands were cheating on them. I spoke about my dream of making out with Dwight Schrute. Then this week I had a really weird dream. I dreamt that I was standing in a mirror looking at my pregnant body, except that I was really skinny, like bony, and I didn't have a baby bump, but I could see the baby's body through my skin. Like I could see her moving, and even though it was disturbing, I was absolutely enchanted. And then my skin was transparent and I could see the baby completely. She had lots of dark brown hair and a birth mark above her eye (and a couple others but I can't remember where) and she was happy and then I woke up and I felt so confused. I don't know, it was just so strange, but for some reason I wanted to write it down so there you go.

So today was probably our last Ultrasound. Luckily, Little Sorensen decided to be more cooperative than usual and we got to see her from a better view. We even saw her little mouth open, and it was precious. She's been on the move all week and not a day has gone by without her moving several times.  By some genetic fluke, she appears to enjoy the morning hours. Also, last night Jordan was able to feel her for the first time. He had his hand on my belly and we waited and when I felt her move I turned to tell him but he had also turned to me so I knew that finally he felt her. Very happy moment. So back to the appointment, we also had Centering today. We got there late because our Ultrasound was late, but mostly we spent the class watching a breastfeeding video. It was sweet to watch the little babies trying to figure it out. Its so silly and sweet to watch them figure out the world. All around, it was a good day and the baby is still healthy and growing. As am I (now weighing in 21 lbs. heavier than pre-pregnancy..already).

My bra has become pasties, my favorite loose tee-shirts to sleep in have become that scene from "Tommy Boy"..you know.."fat guy in a little coat", my wedding ring is on a temporary hiatus, and my belly button doesn't stand a chance.

I'm over half-way there and I just don't know how to ever be grateful enough for this experience. I really don't.

Twenty-One: Just for Kicks

Finally, finally, finally. I knew. I knew that it had to be the baby moving around my belly and that it couldn't be anything else. Last Friday, when I came home from the Ultrasound, I felt it. And then on Monday, I felt it a lot, and even stronger. Even on the outside. It feels like tumbling or rolling and sometimes tapping. She's been laying kinda low the past couple of days, but here and there I will feel her. Jordan hasn't felt her moving yet, which makes us both sort of sad but it'll happen soon, we know that.

Now I just expect or anticipate the feeling all the time. I hold my hand on my belly and close my eyes and just wait. I feel sad when she doesn't move much, but when she does I could cry because I'm just so happy. 

Also, we bought our first baby stuff. Just a few things, because there were some really great online promotions and the diaper bag because there was one left and I have had my eye on it for a few months. We've also been given a few baby things from friends and my Aunt got us a little bouncer. It'll be nice once we move in May and can actually set up the baby's room, but for now and a little bit after she's born, she basically has her own corner. That's how it works in a dorm style apartment. 

In other news, the baby's the size of a large banana and is growing eyelashes (my superficial hope is that they are long and beautiful like the other eyelashes in my family) and eyebrows. She can swallow and taste and definitely move.

She's growing and moving and I can't wait to share that feeling with Jordan.

The sweet little hat that Baden made for Baby Sorensen. I'm also going to credit Robin just because

Twenty: Half Way There

First of all, I thought I might tell you that last Friday, I managed to throw-up in my lunchbox. I was in a hot van riding through the rambling mountains, so needless to say I knew it was going to happen. As soon as we arrived at the destination, I kindly offered a warning to the other passengers, asked for a plastic bag- for which I was given no response, and then it was decidedly so that the lunchbox would have to suffice. Immersed in embarrassment, I opted to discretely ride home with the barfy lunchbox shamefully at my feet. Jordan said we could wash it. I threw it in the trash. There have been these kind of weeks, but then there have been weeks far beyond what I could ever be grateful for.


This week was one of those. How perfectly fitting that Thanksgiving is tomorrow.

Five months, wow. I feel like I've been quietly waiting a while to get to this week. This morning we had our Ultrasound. Not to avoid The Great Gender Reveal, but there are several things which seem far more significant. First of all, the baby is perfectly healthy. All of the numbers and figures fell into the right range and the baby still has all of those fingers that I counted at week twelve. The baby was laying in the same position as last time, which is funny considering the fact that once again, her positioning playfully frustrated the nurse (conveniently causing another Ultrasound to be scheduled in two weeks so that the nurse can get a better look at the little face, yeyuh!). The nurse said the baby was laying like a little frog, with the feet curled under the legs. She showed us the umbilical cord and I asked if the little dot at the end would be the baby's belly button and the nurse said yes and that I was the first patient she has ever had to notice that. Funny. So although Baby S was being shy again, the nurse was able to point out that SHE is in fact a GIRL.

Call it what you will, but I've known it all along. I've just known.

So after spending the morning with my mom and Jordan listening and watching the baby, I gotta say, all of its worth it. The tears, the worry, being sick, being scared. Its worth it. Because Heaven isn't so far away, it just can't be.

Coincidentally, Jordan had gotten pink flowers for me at the end of last week

Nineteen: Sledding

Somehow, twenty seems triumphant, while nineteen seems merely..well..nineteen.

I've been thinking a lot lately, something I do quite too often. As I was driving the other day, I thought about my seven-hundred dollar Volkswagen that I had before I got married, and how I missed it. And I wondered why it made me sad to think that I'm twenty-five and married and have a brand new 2012 Ford. I think there's something about a seven-hundred dollar car and Jimi Hendrix tee-shirts and sleeping until noon that I will always miss in a strange way. Because at that point in my life I could've done anything, because it really wouldn't matter- not in a sad way, but in a way that meant I was just one person sort of floating around this world in my '97 Volkswagen. I think that everyone should drive a crappy car and listen to good real music before they grow up. I think that sometimes I forget who I am because I'm a semi-responsible student and a wife and almost a mother. But there once was just a long-dark-haired girl who listened to poems in songs and painted on the porch and slept in the sun during the day because nothing else really belonged to her- just her own thoughts. I just really feel like I needed to be that girl for a little while, and I think that I'm worried I'll forget about her one day.

Time is just so strange. Sometimes it seems to drag along unwillingly, and then sometimes it slips right out from underneath your feet. Maybe what frightens me really is that this baby will one day be an adult with responsibilty and a new car. I mean, of course that's a good thing- of course. But I just don't want the world to ever be tough for her, but I know sometimes it'll need to be, because that's just part of the plan.

"And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't."- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I hope that for Baby S, sledding is enough for as long as it can be.

Eighteen: Crampin' My Style

So finally- after tears, frustration, and anxiety- We had our long awaited appointment. After a month since our last appointment, hearing the beats of the baby's heart again was almost like a big warm hug. I've missed her. I think I'll be okay for now, our next appointment (the notorious gender reveal) is only a week and a half from now. My mom is going to join us for this appointment, which I'm happy for. I know that it will mean a lot to her. 

Anyways, the appointment today went well. I've gained seven pounds since our first appointment, YIKES! Other than that, we just talked all about baby mama drama, as in weird things going on with our minds and bodies. I really enjoy hearing all the other women's experiences. It was especially nice to talk about abdominal pain since I've been crampy all week. When you first are pregnant, you think- Oh yeah! No period for nine months, woop woop!- and then, you realize that what you DO experience is much more funky..and still..cramps. I guess the difference is that you end up with a beautiful little baby.

Well, I really don't have too many juicy details this week. I'll leave off with saying how grateful I am that our baby seems to be healthy and growing and that I have an awesome supportive husband who I can share this experience with. My heart is full.

Seventeen: Trick or (Tr)EAT

Just my favorite animal keeping my prenatal vitamins safe.
(Remind me to tell you oneday about the live bat (Battleship) that Jordan and I kept in a shoebox in our apartment for two weeks)

Happy Halloween!

Being my most favorite time of the year, one should assume that I took full advantage of my pregnancy and Jordan and I went as Paulie Bleeker and Juno. Of course its appropriate to dress up as a snarky teen who gets pregnant by her high school boyfriend and decides to give her baby up for adoption. Unfortunately, half of the kids didn't get it (because pg-13 movies are apparently not a big hit on campus). One girl said to me "I like your skirt".

Thanks dude. Because I wear skirts over top of my jeans on a regular basis. No.

Sadly, we only managed to take one crappy picture of us because we were so busy with the epic Haunted House we put on. It was absolutely amazing/terrifying, but also very stressful. With classes, exams, being pregnant, and the Haunted House- I definitely took on too much stress. Don't worry, I'll make it up this week by doing absolutely nothing but watching funny youtube videos and re-runs of The Office.

So between the stress and the extinction of morning sickness, I ate. Everything. Donuts, frozen yogurt, half a box of chocolates, chicken nuggets again, but mostly- everything in sight. Needless to say, I now feel like crap. Week seventeen was a rough one.

But wait! Before you engage in my self pity, I have excellent news. Week eighteen brings many good tidings: The presidential election (I guess..), a new episode of Parks and Rec, a new episode of The Office, and drum roll please?...

FINALLY, my Centering appointment! After a month of anxiously and desperately waiting, I am so thankful that in less than a week I will hear Baby's heartbeat again.

So although week seventeen was a little crazy, I am grateful for getting to where I am now.

I can't wait for our appointment on Friday. I'm sure I will have much to say.

Sixteen: Bumps in the Bedtime Road

Its the end of week sixteen and I can say that I officially look pregnant.

With that being said, I have also officially worn maternity pants, and I must say it really isn't that bad. Unless I think about the price. After tireless efforts to find a more affordable pair of maternity jeans that fit properly in Old Navy, I swallowed my pride and went to Motherhood. Although pricey, this decision proved to be wise. The saleswoman was very helpful in finding a pair that fit my short child-like legs, but also had enough room for me to grow in. It was pretty funny. They have these fake belly pillow things in the dressing room to try on clothes with to see how they will fit when you are further along. The only thing is that it was super lumpy and misshapen, so it looked ridiculous, but I guess it accomplished its functional purpose.

So along with looking more pregnant comes being more pregnant. In correlation, I am currently incapable of sleeping at night. Between the need to pee constantly and the inability to find a comfortable position, sleeping has become nearly impossible. On the bright side, I guess this is preparation for when Baby S is actually here. The Boppy has proven to be a wise investment.

On another positive note, we have less than two weeks until our next Centering appointment, and then only two more weeks until our next Ultrasound. Cool stuff. Never in my life have I been so excited for visits to the doctor's office until now. I love it. I truly do.

So in light of announcing our pregnancy, several people have asked about names. I am going to make the official public announcement that we are keeping our name choice(s) private until Baby S is born. I don't wish to offend anyone, and its really not to be secretive, we simply just feel that the name we choose for the baby is special to us and we want to hold it close to our hearts until she is born.

I've been thinking and wondering a lot about the baby lately. What she will look like, who she will be. These are just a few of my thoughts and hopes.

• I hope that she will have Jordan's patience. He is so patient and kind, and I think that patience is such a beautiful virtue of love. One of great breadth. It is one that I have yet to learn. 
• I hope that she will have Jordan's sense of charity. Jordan is so selfless, and sometimes I can be intolerant of it, but he is a loyal friend and always giving. I hope that our baby will have as charitable a heart as does her father. 
• I hope that our baby will have my sense of humor. It may sound superficial, but I strongly feel that there are few things which humor cannot cure. I think I'm pretty funny. I hope our baby is too.
• I hope that she will have my confidence. I'm firm in my beliefs and sometimes stubborn, but I have learned over time that I do not have to do things that I am not comfortable with. I don't have to pretend to like something that I don't. I am honest to the bone to myself. I hope that Baby S will always stand her ground when she believes in something. I hope that she can always be true to herself. From Max Ehrmann's Desiderata- "Speak your truth quietly and clearly"

Above all, I hope that she will not ever let the world break her heart. I hope that Baby S will always know that this life is only a small speck in the grand scheme of things and that if she puts her heart in the Lord's hands, it will not ever be broken. I hope that mine and Jordan's love for her will be enough for her to know her worth and never forget it in times of trial or despair.

I guess its just my impatience, but I cannot wait to show that love to her.

Well, unto week seventeen!

Fifteen: Baby Blues

The bird is the word.

After careful thought and the fact that it has become pretty apparent, we decided to publicly announce the news of Baby S. The sweet and loving feedback has been much appreciated, especially that from a few of our good friends. It was really nice to talk about worries and things with a couple of our friends who already have children. This was such a simple comfort since our next doctor's appointment seems so far away. 

Well, far away as in four weeks from our last appointment, which really isn't much at all. The thing is, I've grown reliant on having an appointment every other week since the first one. Apparently that isn't typical. Being able to actually see and hear that the baby is doing fine so often has given me (a natural worrier) much peace, so waiting just a tiny bit longer to have that comfort is tough. I have felt so sad this week and keep scrolling through my calender over and over, just counting the days until our next appointment. Luckily, after that appointment, we will have another one just two weeks after to confirm the gender, so we will get another ultrasound. I know that the time will go by fast, its just that right now it doesn't seem that way. I've cried a lot this week and worry all the time. I just love our baby so much and want her to be safe, healthy, and happy. 

So onto bigger things: pants. At a mere fifteen weeks, I made my first real maternity clothes purchase, including a pair of pants. With the elastic. In a size I wish not to think about. I also purchased several tops and dresses in a size larger than what I expected. I thought I might cry when I looked at the price tags.  The price of the maternity clothes is outrageous, but luckily my grandma helped to pay for them. Initially I had no interest in buying maternity clothes, but after trying on regular clothes, I just knew that those alone would not cut it. Especially with pants.

I know that part of being pregnant means gaining weight, I know that. But when the other pregnant women around you, many of whom are several weeks further along then you, are still barely showing it can be a little disheartening. I honestly think that I look six months pregnant. That is just honestly what I feel. I feel a little embarrassed, and I know that I shouldn't, but I do. I just have to remind myself that my body is making the room needed for Baby S to grow. 

So I am still waiting to feel the first kicks. Sometimes I think I do, but nothing for certain just yet. Hopefully we will get some kick action soon and my worries will be put at ease. As of now, Baby S is the size of an orange, can suck her thumb and sense light. 

Next week is month four, so almost half way there!

Fourteen: Chicken Nuggets and Naps

Based on my consciousness this week, I think I may be able to sleep through all the anxiety and anticipation, through the entire pregnancy, and all the way up until the birth. Ideally, I would like to sleep through the labor as well, but that just isn't realistic.

This week can be summarized as follows: Pizza, Chicken nuggets, sleeping, and teenage tantrums. I woke up from a nap the other day and literally said to Jordan: "What are you looking at?".

On a positive note, I haven't really felt much nausea this week. This is wonderful. A little car-sickness while driving to and from Lynchburg for my watercolor class, but I was driving to and from Lynchburg- so who can blame the little babe? Other good news, I finally am starting to look a little more pregnant and a little less like I've been eating Adele's emotions.

This leads me to my current dilemma: how to avoid buying maternity jeans. Here's the thing, I know most you you reading this are like "Get over it Jess, you usually wear sweatpants, don't act like you care what you look like"- Guys, I know, you are totally right. The thing is, maternity clothing in general costs about double what the regular version of such items would cost. Yes, that flap of spandex above the crotch of the jeans adds an extra twenty dollars to the price. Ridiculous. So, in naive determination, I have decided against buying maternity wear (unless it can be purchased at a reasonable cost), and am going to search for clothing that can be worn after Baby S is born as well. This is like searching for Atlantis, but less plausible. I have no idea how big I will end up getting, so I am not sure what sizes to buy. This is especially difficult in trying to buy a winter coat. Coats are expensive, and buying a maternity coat (if there is such a thing) seems a little ridiculous since right now I am only four months, but by February, I will be about eight months and probably huge. 

So enough about that, let's move on to yesterday's appointment. I had my first Centering appointment, which is a program where you have a group appointment with other women due the same month as yourself, and it is conducted by a midwife. They have you weigh yourself and take your own blood pressure and record it. Its a very hands-on and intimate way to be involved in your own pregnancy, as well as connect with other women who are going through the same experiences as you. It was great. There were five other women and two other husband/boyfriends. For all but one of us, this was our first pregnancy. The midwife Mary, who was so sweet, called us back individually and let us listen to the baby's heartbeat, while the others got to know one another in the main room. When Mary went to get our baby's heartbeat, she found it almost immediately. It was awesome. Hearing our baby's heartbeat is so comforting. After that we sat in a circle and talked about weight gain and nutrition. Jordan and I learned that the baby's lungs are deflated all the way up until she takes her first breath. There was something so spiritual about hearing that, how they come into the world and they just are still and quiet and then suddenly they take that breath and just "come alive".  All the other participants were friendly and fun. I asked about flu shots and one of the midwives said she could do it right after the appointment, which was awesome.

The entire appointment was a great experience and I'm looking forward to the next one in November. I just want to say that Augusta has been absolutely wonderful. The entire staff has been so kind and pleasant. I can't think of a better place to experience our first pregnancy.

So that sums up the fourteenth week. In two weeks we are at four months, and in two months we will be in our third trimester!

Amazing. 

Name tags from first Centering class

Thirteen: Five Fingers

"Hi Mom and Dad"

Well, friday's appointment went absolutely wonderful. This was much better than the previous appointment, where basically my entire blood stream was drained and I was more or less physically assaulted by one of the midwives without warning. No heartbeats, no cute pictures. But Friday's appointment- it was perfect.

First, I met Dr. Thompson, who was everything I wanted him to be based on his picture from the lobby. He wears wire-rimmed glasses and maybe has a lisp. He is the best, and I totally trust him. He politely introduced himself and then read to me my blood results, which were all fine. Then he began the ultrasound for genetic testing. Fortunately for me, this time it was with the belly and the goo (last time, not quite). As soon as he started moving the wand around on my belly, I looked up at the screen, and there it was.

1-2-3-4-5, I counted them. Five perfect little fingers on a perfect little hand. It was amazing. Truly a miracle. The little hand moved and I just knew that everything was okay. It was the most comforting feeling, I just cannot describe it. You hear about the heartbeat and how wonderful it is to hear that for the first time, but for me, it was this hand. Every time I think about seeing that little hand for the first time, I just want to cry. Because I miss the baby already, and I want to watch her all the time. I want to see that she is okay. I want to know that she is comfortable. And that she knows I'll protect her. I just want to hold that little hand.

So, after that, Dr. Thompson moved around the magic wand to show us more proof of our baby and her health. He showed us her heart and we watched it beat, which was probably the second most amazing experience so far. He showed us her brain and explained to us how "this" and "this" showed that there were no signs of spina bifida. He had trouble checking for down syndrome because she was tilting her head in the wrong direction (he even left the room at one point so that I could walk around and try to get the baby to move), but he showed us her nose (which is pointy just like Jordan's) and showed us that there was no sign of down syndrome there. All good news!

Then, as we watched the screen, he typed G-I-R-L. She is a girl! He showed us some lines on the screen which, if parallel with the body, mean that there is a 90% chance our baby is a girl, and those lines appeared pretty parallel. So, even though it looks like Baby Sorensen is a girl, on November 21 we have another sonogram, which be more definitive because I will be 20 weeks along and the sexual organs will be formed. We will be happy either way, but if she is a girl, that will give some weight to my maternal instincts because I've thought she was a girl all along.

So after that, Dr. Thompson just reviewed with us the results which were all good. What a blessing. I have been so nervous and this appointment really eased my mind some. He made us a disk with all the photos from the sonogram, as well as printed several for us.

Then we made the calls. First we called our moms. Then dads, grandma, siblings. I should probably include how when I was on the phone telling Haley, Jordan hit the car in front of us in the McDonald's drive-thru line. Priceless. No damage done, so it was all good. We told family, a few close friends, and a few of Jordan's co-workers. Being able to finally tell people was liberating (only our parents, grandma, and a couple siblings had known prior to this appointment). Not only was it great to finally tell people and share the joy with them, but also because I was/am starting to look just fat unless one is aware I am carrying a peach sized baby around in my belly. So, the news is out for the most part. I haven't made the decision to make it social media official yet, simply because it is just such a private special experience. There are many people who I want to tell who I don't see often enough, so facebook may just be the best option.

So other than that, week thirteen has been mostly typical. Nausea has decreased some, acid indigestion is still present, sleeping is difficult but better because of the Boppy(!), and still as sleepy throughout the day as usual. Had to make a sudden run to the grocery store for prune plum juice the other night, but we won't discuss such matters. On a positive note, I thought I felt a flutter that could perhaps be the baby moving the other night, but I just don't know what it would feel like yet to be sure. Mostly, things have been going well. I am excited for my first group appointment (Centering), which will be next Friday.

I really just stare at my calender all day long with a deep anticipation for all that's to come. I love this baby, and I feel very blessed to have such a wonderful husband with whom I can share these feelings and experiences. Some of these moments, while preparing to be parents, have been the most special for us as husband and wife. I am grateful that our baby will have such a loving father. I am grateful for it all.

Twelve: Boppy and the Babe

We have made it to month three! Next week means 2nd trimester. Awesome, right?

So first thing first, Amazon Prime is the freaking bomb. My purchase was free shipping for two day delivery, and I received my Boppy Pillow in ONE day. Awesome. 

So about that Boppy Pillow: With week twelve has come a few changes, not many, but changes nonetheless. The morning sickness has somewhat subsided, and by somewhat subsided, I mean turned into night sickness. The mornings have been pretty easy, but at nighttime right before I fall asleep, I end up not, because I feel like barf(ing). Oh and before the right before I fall asleep part, it takes forty-five minutes to get in a comfortable position, hence the Boppy Pillow. Its shaped like a, well, fetus and/or cocktail shrimp. You put the smaller part in between your legs and the big part wraps around your belly, or at least that's what the super pregnant woman in the picture on Amazon was doing, but I haven't tried it yet. 

Other than those things, not much more has happened since last week. Headaches Deathgraines, acid indigestion, super sleepy, the usual. I've been doing some extensive stroller and car seat research, and by research I mean shopping. I've learned that Baby can hiccup, which was possibly the most exciting discovery yet.

Learning about what changes Baby is going through is my favorite thing to do. I love learning what's growing and changing with him or her. Sometimes I get too anxious and look at all the changes in the weeks ahead. 

Well, I suppose that is all for now. I have an appointment Friday, so I'm sure I'll have lots to say next time.

The Boppy spooning sleepy Jordan

Eleven: Firsts

Little was I aware, my first pregnancy would mean my first time throwing up cherry yogurt through my nose. Luckily, it was at the most convenient time imaginable. Ten minutes before class, and more specifically ironically, Health and Wellness.

So, after tying cherry stems with my nostrils, I was able to clean up and go to class and learn about heat strokes and tennis shoes.

This has not been my first experience associated with the phrase "What the heck? Nobody told me about ". Now I will spare you the details of Saturday, but I will tell you that it involved an equal amount of pain as embarrassment..and prune juice.

Among other symptoms, I have had a terrible headache for the past few hours and an odd craving for split pea soup. I don't think I'm showing any more than I believed I was at about six weeks. I feel like I've remained at a constant pudginess, but I distinctly recall weighing 117 lbs. before becoming pregnant (because I remember thinking: Holy cow, pun intended) and I weighed 124 lbs. at the appointment on Friday so maybe the bump's a little bigger. Also, when we told my sweet Grandma that I was pregnant, she said that she thought I might be because I was kinda fat. She said it (barely) more gently, but that was the general message. However, I should disclose that was before the...incident.

So this, my friends, is week eleven. Baby should be roughly the size of a lime, which is much more comforting than he or she being compared to a prune like last week. Baby can hear and can even move his or her little legs. How sweet:)

I cannot wait to feel his or her kicks, I think that is what I'm most looking forward to.