Twenty-One: Just for Kicks

Finally, finally, finally. I knew. I knew that it had to be the baby moving around my belly and that it couldn't be anything else. Last Friday, when I came home from the Ultrasound, I felt it. And then on Monday, I felt it a lot, and even stronger. Even on the outside. It feels like tumbling or rolling and sometimes tapping. She's been laying kinda low the past couple of days, but here and there I will feel her. Jordan hasn't felt her moving yet, which makes us both sort of sad but it'll happen soon, we know that.

Now I just expect or anticipate the feeling all the time. I hold my hand on my belly and close my eyes and just wait. I feel sad when she doesn't move much, but when she does I could cry because I'm just so happy. 

Also, we bought our first baby stuff. Just a few things, because there were some really great online promotions and the diaper bag because there was one left and I have had my eye on it for a few months. We've also been given a few baby things from friends and my Aunt got us a little bouncer. It'll be nice once we move in May and can actually set up the baby's room, but for now and a little bit after she's born, she basically has her own corner. That's how it works in a dorm style apartment. 

In other news, the baby's the size of a large banana and is growing eyelashes (my superficial hope is that they are long and beautiful like the other eyelashes in my family) and eyebrows. She can swallow and taste and definitely move.

She's growing and moving and I can't wait to share that feeling with Jordan.

The sweet little hat that Baden made for Baby Sorensen. I'm also going to credit Robin just because

Twenty: Half Way There

First of all, I thought I might tell you that last Friday, I managed to throw-up in my lunchbox. I was in a hot van riding through the rambling mountains, so needless to say I knew it was going to happen. As soon as we arrived at the destination, I kindly offered a warning to the other passengers, asked for a plastic bag- for which I was given no response, and then it was decidedly so that the lunchbox would have to suffice. Immersed in embarrassment, I opted to discretely ride home with the barfy lunchbox shamefully at my feet. Jordan said we could wash it. I threw it in the trash. There have been these kind of weeks, but then there have been weeks far beyond what I could ever be grateful for.


This week was one of those. How perfectly fitting that Thanksgiving is tomorrow.

Five months, wow. I feel like I've been quietly waiting a while to get to this week. This morning we had our Ultrasound. Not to avoid The Great Gender Reveal, but there are several things which seem far more significant. First of all, the baby is perfectly healthy. All of the numbers and figures fell into the right range and the baby still has all of those fingers that I counted at week twelve. The baby was laying in the same position as last time, which is funny considering the fact that once again, her positioning playfully frustrated the nurse (conveniently causing another Ultrasound to be scheduled in two weeks so that the nurse can get a better look at the little face, yeyuh!). The nurse said the baby was laying like a little frog, with the feet curled under the legs. She showed us the umbilical cord and I asked if the little dot at the end would be the baby's belly button and the nurse said yes and that I was the first patient she has ever had to notice that. Funny. So although Baby S was being shy again, the nurse was able to point out that SHE is in fact a GIRL.

Call it what you will, but I've known it all along. I've just known.

So after spending the morning with my mom and Jordan listening and watching the baby, I gotta say, all of its worth it. The tears, the worry, being sick, being scared. Its worth it. Because Heaven isn't so far away, it just can't be.

Coincidentally, Jordan had gotten pink flowers for me at the end of last week

Nineteen: Sledding

Somehow, twenty seems triumphant, while nineteen seems merely..well..nineteen.

I've been thinking a lot lately, something I do quite too often. As I was driving the other day, I thought about my seven-hundred dollar Volkswagen that I had before I got married, and how I missed it. And I wondered why it made me sad to think that I'm twenty-five and married and have a brand new 2012 Ford. I think there's something about a seven-hundred dollar car and Jimi Hendrix tee-shirts and sleeping until noon that I will always miss in a strange way. Because at that point in my life I could've done anything, because it really wouldn't matter- not in a sad way, but in a way that meant I was just one person sort of floating around this world in my '97 Volkswagen. I think that everyone should drive a crappy car and listen to good real music before they grow up. I think that sometimes I forget who I am because I'm a semi-responsible student and a wife and almost a mother. But there once was just a long-dark-haired girl who listened to poems in songs and painted on the porch and slept in the sun during the day because nothing else really belonged to her- just her own thoughts. I just really feel like I needed to be that girl for a little while, and I think that I'm worried I'll forget about her one day.

Time is just so strange. Sometimes it seems to drag along unwillingly, and then sometimes it slips right out from underneath your feet. Maybe what frightens me really is that this baby will one day be an adult with responsibilty and a new car. I mean, of course that's a good thing- of course. But I just don't want the world to ever be tough for her, but I know sometimes it'll need to be, because that's just part of the plan.

"And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't."- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

I hope that for Baby S, sledding is enough for as long as it can be.

Eighteen: Crampin' My Style

So finally- after tears, frustration, and anxiety- We had our long awaited appointment. After a month since our last appointment, hearing the beats of the baby's heart again was almost like a big warm hug. I've missed her. I think I'll be okay for now, our next appointment (the notorious gender reveal) is only a week and a half from now. My mom is going to join us for this appointment, which I'm happy for. I know that it will mean a lot to her. 

Anyways, the appointment today went well. I've gained seven pounds since our first appointment, YIKES! Other than that, we just talked all about baby mama drama, as in weird things going on with our minds and bodies. I really enjoy hearing all the other women's experiences. It was especially nice to talk about abdominal pain since I've been crampy all week. When you first are pregnant, you think- Oh yeah! No period for nine months, woop woop!- and then, you realize that what you DO experience is much more funky..and still..cramps. I guess the difference is that you end up with a beautiful little baby.

Well, I really don't have too many juicy details this week. I'll leave off with saying how grateful I am that our baby seems to be healthy and growing and that I have an awesome supportive husband who I can share this experience with. My heart is full.

Seventeen: Trick or (Tr)EAT

Just my favorite animal keeping my prenatal vitamins safe.
(Remind me to tell you oneday about the live bat (Battleship) that Jordan and I kept in a shoebox in our apartment for two weeks)

Happy Halloween!

Being my most favorite time of the year, one should assume that I took full advantage of my pregnancy and Jordan and I went as Paulie Bleeker and Juno. Of course its appropriate to dress up as a snarky teen who gets pregnant by her high school boyfriend and decides to give her baby up for adoption. Unfortunately, half of the kids didn't get it (because pg-13 movies are apparently not a big hit on campus). One girl said to me "I like your skirt".

Thanks dude. Because I wear skirts over top of my jeans on a regular basis. No.

Sadly, we only managed to take one crappy picture of us because we were so busy with the epic Haunted House we put on. It was absolutely amazing/terrifying, but also very stressful. With classes, exams, being pregnant, and the Haunted House- I definitely took on too much stress. Don't worry, I'll make it up this week by doing absolutely nothing but watching funny youtube videos and re-runs of The Office.

So between the stress and the extinction of morning sickness, I ate. Everything. Donuts, frozen yogurt, half a box of chocolates, chicken nuggets again, but mostly- everything in sight. Needless to say, I now feel like crap. Week seventeen was a rough one.

But wait! Before you engage in my self pity, I have excellent news. Week eighteen brings many good tidings: The presidential election (I guess..), a new episode of Parks and Rec, a new episode of The Office, and drum roll please?...

FINALLY, my Centering appointment! After a month of anxiously and desperately waiting, I am so thankful that in less than a week I will hear Baby's heartbeat again.

So although week seventeen was a little crazy, I am grateful for getting to where I am now.

I can't wait for our appointment on Friday. I'm sure I will have much to say.