Thirty-Seven: Belly Full

Here we are. Both full-term and full-load.

With three exams this week, I was able to keep myself fairly occupied, so the week went by quickly. Friday, we had our first "week-to-week" appointment. My Strep B test was negative, so of course that was good news (not that I really understand what Strep B is). I expected some kind of cervical exam, basically one of the super personal kind to tell if I had any progress, but not this time. It was by far the quickest appointment we have ever had during our pregnancy. Since we've met all of the midwives minus one, so we scheduled our next appointment with her.

Saturday, I met my mom in Roanoke to shop for all the last minute baby items. There are few things I less than shopping, especially at the mall, and even more especially pregnant. Mostly, I got what I needed, but at the price of my feet's comfort. By the end of the evening, I considered a wheelchair. Going along with that, let me list you several items worth the money while pregnant and items that are not. (Here's my unsolicited advice for you):

Worth the $

• Comfortable shoes- I would recommend one casual pair and one dressy. By dressy, I don't mean heels- unless, that is, you are a complete idiot. But seriously, spend a little extra here. The only pair I've bought while pregnant was from Walmart a week ago- I'm an idiot.
•  Maternity pillow- You don't have to buy the most expensive one out there, but you do absolutely need one. I have two which I sometimes use interchangeably or together. Totally worth it. I wouldn't be able to sleep at all without one.
• A good bra- I didn't, but you should. I just now finally bought a couple of sports bra type bras, but they are a little more comfortable. The past couple of months, my boobs have hated me. Don't make your boobs the enemy. 
• Maternity tank tops- Just two to three. And just tank tops and if you're wise, in neutral colors. They are longer and stretchier than regular tank tops and they can expand your pregnancy wardrobe by adding length to regular shirts.

Don't bother

• Maternity clothes- Goodwill it. I bought a few actual maternity items from Old Navy and Motherhood. They were super expensive and I grew out of them in just a couple of months or even less. At some point, I grew a brain and started going to Goodwill like once a week. You can find some really cute stuff and you are saving so much money. I even found some maternity clothes at Goodwill that were name brand and really nice. You will grow and grow and grow until the baby's born so there is absolutely no point in spending a bunch'a money on maternity clothes from department stores. And honestly, if you can- don't bother with jeans. Leggings and dresses are essential if you want to be comfortable.

That's all I got for ya now, but seriously, this is pretty valid advice. 

Well week thirty-seven was short but well-lived. I have waited so long to say that I'm full-term, and now that I can, it is all too surreal. Sometimes I'm just hanging out and thinking thoughts and then suddenly it really hits me- like right in my heart, so heavy I can feel it- that any day now, I can become a mother, that I will be one. That I will be the most responsible person in the entire world for this little person's life. And I just cannot fathom it. I can't really believe such a thing, because it is the most powerful, wonderful, intimidating, beautiful thing I can imagine. But it will be real. I don't know what to say. It is too profound for words really. 

So as I sit here, at 2:40 a.m. with heartburn, acid indigestion, puffy legs, swollen feet, and insomnia, I try to remember that soon enough, I will never just be me again. I'll be a mother. And I will never be pregnant for the first time with my first baby again. There will be no other experience just like this one. So I have to remember that. Even when it takes a fifteen-step process to roll to my other side and even when I wake up to pee at 7:00 a.m. and can't fall back asleep until 8:50 and have to wake up for class at 9:00, I have to remember that this time, these moments right now, are so precious in the grand scheme of things. I want to always remember that. 

Now here we are at the end of week thirty-seven. I am ready when she is. Even if I won't think so when it's time, I will be. Because I love her and I want to show her this world and how to be happy in it. And I can do that, just because I love her.

So, here we go.