Last week of year 2012, last week of second trimester, last week of winter break, last week of wearing leggings guilt-free. I'm almost completely out of Christmas candy, except for the gross flavored jellybeans, and my fish is still dead.
The late Pierre was a gift from Jordan from last Christmas, the first Christmas we spent together married. He spent his days being a picky eater and blowing bubbles. He was the best. Yesterday morning I found him lifeless at the bottom of his bowl.
Then we went to our doctor's appointment. First we went to the hospital to have the glucose and iron tests and to tour the maternity ward. Incidentally, the nurse improperly administered the glucose test and instead of drinking the gross stuff and then having blood drawn, I ended up having my blood drawn twice. Gross. The "gross stuff" tasted like orange soda minus the carbonation...and basically anything else that would make orange soda taste good. It was syrupy and gross. Basically it sucked. The nurse was super apologetic for administering the tests improperly, but I let her know it was no big deal. Augusta Medical has the best staff. Really. Everyone is super nice. We toured the delivery room which was really nice. It wasn't as "surgical" and "sterile-appearing" as I had suspected it would be. Plus there are jacuzzi tubs in every room. Awesome. Then we had to rush over to our Centering appointment. Unfortunately there weren't any good snacks, just crackers and cereal bars, and we both were starving. We made do. We talked about birth control methods, which provided the best/most embarrassing quotes as expected. We also watched a video of a series of live natural births. Surprisingly, it wasn't as terrifying as I had expected. Most of the women were certainly in discomfort, yet very calm and in control. It was encouraging. I felt like "I can do this". After hearing our baby's heartbeat, we talked with our midwife Mary who shared her experience with Hypnobirthing.
See at first everyone kept asking me what my birthing plan was. I was like..Get the baby out?...Until I finally realized that you're supposed to have like, a plan. So after a little research here and there and some good advice, I've decided to thoughtfully focus on the Hypnobirthing method. More or less, it teaches the mother to have confidence in her own abilities- that of her mind and body- in order to deliver her child. Being an adroit day dreamer, I figure that this approach will be attainable for me. I really appreciate the sincerity of this plan. The literature is not anti-hospital like many other natural birthing methods. That really bothered me with the Bradley Method. The literature is very you vs. the hospital and that can be tough for a woman who ends up needing a C-section or deciding to use medicine to help in her delivery. The Hypnobirthing book simply teaches that if you want a natural childbirth and if you are medically able to deliver naturally, than you are physically and mentally capable of doing so. It teaches confidence and what could be better than that when you are preparing to push a watermelon out of a walnut?..
Other than that, our baby is very active. She recently started this thing where she kicks my side a bunch if I'm laying on my left side, but only my left. It sort of tickles and I get weirdly giggly when she does it. I've gained almost thirty pounds, my belly button is putting up a good fight, and shaving my legs is an olympic event (that I mostly don't participate in).
I feel ready and anxious during most days and then frightened and nervous during others. I dream of her often and I feel overwhelmed with love.
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