Fifteen: Baby Blues

The bird is the word.

After careful thought and the fact that it has become pretty apparent, we decided to publicly announce the news of Baby S. The sweet and loving feedback has been much appreciated, especially that from a few of our good friends. It was really nice to talk about worries and things with a couple of our friends who already have children. This was such a simple comfort since our next doctor's appointment seems so far away. 

Well, far away as in four weeks from our last appointment, which really isn't much at all. The thing is, I've grown reliant on having an appointment every other week since the first one. Apparently that isn't typical. Being able to actually see and hear that the baby is doing fine so often has given me (a natural worrier) much peace, so waiting just a tiny bit longer to have that comfort is tough. I have felt so sad this week and keep scrolling through my calender over and over, just counting the days until our next appointment. Luckily, after that appointment, we will have another one just two weeks after to confirm the gender, so we will get another ultrasound. I know that the time will go by fast, its just that right now it doesn't seem that way. I've cried a lot this week and worry all the time. I just love our baby so much and want her to be safe, healthy, and happy. 

So onto bigger things: pants. At a mere fifteen weeks, I made my first real maternity clothes purchase, including a pair of pants. With the elastic. In a size I wish not to think about. I also purchased several tops and dresses in a size larger than what I expected. I thought I might cry when I looked at the price tags.  The price of the maternity clothes is outrageous, but luckily my grandma helped to pay for them. Initially I had no interest in buying maternity clothes, but after trying on regular clothes, I just knew that those alone would not cut it. Especially with pants.

I know that part of being pregnant means gaining weight, I know that. But when the other pregnant women around you, many of whom are several weeks further along then you, are still barely showing it can be a little disheartening. I honestly think that I look six months pregnant. That is just honestly what I feel. I feel a little embarrassed, and I know that I shouldn't, but I do. I just have to remind myself that my body is making the room needed for Baby S to grow. 

So I am still waiting to feel the first kicks. Sometimes I think I do, but nothing for certain just yet. Hopefully we will get some kick action soon and my worries will be put at ease. As of now, Baby S is the size of an orange, can suck her thumb and sense light. 

Next week is month four, so almost half way there!